Rules of Dating
by Dozen and One Stars
Summary: AU. Miroku has convinced Sango to go to the prom with him. What he didn't expect were some of the rules set by her father. No longer a oneshot.
1. Ground Rules

Sango and Miroku met in the tenth grade. They were in almost every class together and it seemed as though their teachers had all gotten together and decided they liked these two as a couple. They were seated next to each other and when ever a project came around they always seemed to be paired up together. Though this wasn't a problem with Miroku. In fact he enjoyed every minute of it. Grabbing her bottom and when he was slapped he just sighed and announced it was the best half-second of his life.

Sango on the other hand was getting fed up with his antics. Her hand was starting to hurt from the number of times she had hit him. Not to mention that he had started asking her out. One day she replied, in a very sarcastic way mind you, " Sure Miroku I'll go out you. Two years from now."

Either Miroku never notice the sarcasm or he chose to ignore it. Either way Miroku leapt from his seat and knelt at Sango's desk. He used one of his hands and clasped both of hers. "I knew you would agree eventually! My hours of meditation told me so!"

Sango was turning red. Not only from embarrassment but also from anger. Miroku's other hand some how found it's way to her bottom. Grabbing the nearest book, it happened to be Miroku's biology book; Sango raised it above her head and brought it down on top of his head. Successfully managing to reacquaint Miroku with the floor.

"I suppose your meditation also told your hand to rest there!"

Miroku sighed and rubbed his head from his spot on the floor. "Sadly no. That hand is cursed I tell you. Just wanders were it pleases."

_--------------------------Two Years Later: Before School------------------------_

Sango was currently on the computer in the school library. She had to do some last minuet revisions for a paper that was due the next day. Now normally she would have done this when she got home from school but tonight was Prom and there would be no time for anything but getting ready.

She had just finished typing and was just about to start printing, when all of a sudden a hand was on her bottom. With out a second thought Sango spun around and landed a right hook on somebody's eye. Looking down she gaped at who it was. "You! I thought I lost you when I hopped that fence and looped back around."

Miroku smiled as he stood up and gabbed her hands. "Fear not I found my way back to you! Lovers such as ourselves are never truly separated."

Sango yanked her hands away as she started the printing process on her computer. Once it was started she turned her attention to Miroku. Opening a bag of chips she munched on a few. "Why don't you leave me alone? We've never even dated."

Miroku grabbed the chair nearby and pulled up next to Sango. "Because Sango my dear, we are destined for each other! Also we have our first date planned for tonight. So what time should I pick you up?"

Sango nearly choked on her chips. Coughing she grabbed her nearby water bottle and took a gulp. Once she was able to breath correctly she looked at him incredulously. "What did you say?"

Miroku looked worried. He leaned in a little closer to make sure she was all right. "Are you okay Sango? Do you need me to get you any-"

Miroku was cut off as Sango grabbed the collar of his shirt and hoisted him to his feet as she stood up. Nearing her eyes her voice got really low. "Miroku what did you say earlier."

Miroku gulped before answering. "Just that we are destined for each other and have our first date tonight. By the way what time do you want me to pick you up?"

Sango didn't even hear his question as she unceremoniously dropped him on the floor and sank into her chair. "I have no knowledge of this date! When did I agree to this!"

Miroku sat cross-legged on the ground before Sango. The smile on his face was that of a kid in a candy store. "Exactly two years ago today!" He rummaged through his backpack and pulled out a small book. "See I've even been keeping track!"

Sango snatched the book out of Miroku's hands. Flipping through it proved that Miroku had in fact been keeping track. "I never agreed to this!"

"Sure you did! Remember?"

" _Sure Miroku I'll go out you. Two years from now."_

_Either Miroku never notice the sarcasm or he chose to ignore it. Either way Miroku leapt from his seat and knelt at Sango's desk. He used one of his hands and clasped both of hers. "I knew you would agree eventually! My hours of meditation told me so!"_

"_I suppose your meditation also told your hand to rest there!"_

"Damn it! I did tell him that!" Sango cursed.

Miroku stared at her for a minuet before speaking up. "So…what time do you want me to pick you up? I'll also need your address."

Sango sighed but got out a pencil. Opening the little book she wrote on the next clean sheet of paper wrote her address and number. "You can pick me up around 6. I also wrote down my number in case you need to get a hold of me."

Miroku grabbed the notebook and hugged it to his chest. He then got up and started to exit the library. "Good bye my love! I shall see you tonight!"

Sango groaned and buried her head in her arms. Hoping that no one could tell that he was talking to her. Her paper was finished printing by now.

_------------------------6 o'clock: Sango's House-------------------- _

Miroku glanced at his watch. He was right on time. Getting out of the limo he walked up the steps and knocked on the door. From the outside he could hear rushing of footsteps followed by the click of the door unlocking. There in the doorway stood Sango though she didn't look like she was ready to go anywhere.

"Sorry I'm running a little behind. Come on in and sit down I'll be down soon." Sango then disappeared back up the stairs.

Miroku walked in and closed the door behind him. Turning around he jumped a foot in the air. There standing before him was tall man, at least six feet, who wasn't there before. He had black hair that was tied in a small ponytail and a beard. He appeared to be in his thirty's and Miroku's best guess was that this was Sango's father.

Finally remembering his manners Miroku stuck out his had. "Hello Mr. Taijya. How are you this evening? "

"I'm fine Miroku is it?" Miroku nodded as the man took in his appearance. "What happened to your eye?"

Turns out when Sango punched him earlier that day she did it a little too hard. Miroku's eye held a brilliant shiner. Miroku laughed, "Just a little misunderstanding. I'm just glad it goes so well with what I'm wearing."

Indeed the shade of the shiner did go with Miroku's choice of clothing. He was wearing a black tux with a deep purple undershirt. No tie.

Sango's father slung an arm around Miroku's shoulders and led him into the living room. He sat in an armchair while Miroku took a place on the couch. "Now as I'm sure you already know Sango is my only daughter. Therefore I am very fond of her so it should not come as a surprise that I set some ground rules right."

Slightly confused Miroku just nodded his head as Mr. Taijya continued. "First off you do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them."

Miroku's eyes widened at his statement. 'I hope Sango doesn't tell him about my hand. Better be careful.'

Sango's father leaned back in his chair, " I know that this is a special night for the both of you but don't get carried away in the heat of the moment. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you."

Miroku's eyes widened even more if that was possible and his mouth hung opened.

"You're going to catch flies if you don't close your mouth."

His mouth shut tight.

"Also if you two ever decided to go out on another date I have some suggestions for clothing. It is to my understanding and observation thatboys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots." Miroku opened his mouth to protest but was cut off as Mr. Taijya started speaking again.

"Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist." He smiled as though it was the best idea ever.

Miroku decided not to argue. 'I have to get some new pants…'

"Now I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls." Miroku smiled broadly at this statement. That smile quickly disappeared as the man across from him narrowed his eyes slightly.

"This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. "

Before he had time to respond to that Sango appeared at the doorway. "Hey Miroku. Dad. I'm ready now."

Mr. Taijya got up and strode over to his daughter with a grin on his face. "You look wonderful. You've grown up so fast. Why it seemed as though it was just yesterday that you were running around in your underwear and rain boots."

Sango hit her father's arm with her purse. "Dad! Don't say things like that!"

"All right just don't hit me again." He responded while rubbing his arm. Even in a dress and heels Sango could still hit hard.

During this whole exchange Miroku just stared at Sango, being careful that his eyes remained in appropriate places. Normally she had her hair up in a ponytail but tonight it was let down. It ended around mid back and was waved slightly.

Her dress was strapless. The top six inches was a white fabric with black embroidered flowers and leaves. The rest of the dress was a deep burgundy red except for the last six inches, which had the same whit with black flowers and leaves. Sango also wore a pair of black gloves that stopped just short of her elbows. Her necklace was gold in an ivy pattern with red gems as berries.

Sango had walked to the door and was about to step outside when she noticed that Miroku wasn't following her. "Hey Miroku quit dragging your feet and get a move on!"

He was snapped out his daze. "Coming Sango!"

Sango just nodded and made her way to the limo. Miroku jumped up and was about to run after her when to hands were placed firmly on her shoulders. With his eyes he followed the hands, to arms, and finally to the face of Sango's father.

Smiling he leaned in a little bit to that they were eye to eye. "One last thing Miroku. When it comes to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me."

Miroku stood there dumbfounded and shocked. Mr. Taijya just kept smiling. "You better get going. You don't want to keep my daughter waiting now do you?"

Miroku was out the door before he could blink. After hearing the door close behind him Mr. Taijya put his hands behind his head and walked towards the kitchen. "I like that boy. I hope he comes back."

_-----------------Limo Ride Home: Sometime After Midnight------------------_

To say Sango was confused would be an understatement. Miroku had been a perfect gentleman all night. He kept eye contact; he pulled out her chair at dinner, opened the door to the buildings and limo, and during the slow dances didn't once let his hand 'slip.'

Not that she was complaining or anything. It was …strange. Not to mention a little unnerving.

"Hey Miroku?"

"Yes Sango?"

"Are you…?" She paused a little bit before continuing. "Are you feeling okay? Your not sick or anything right?"

Miroku raised an eyebrow to Sango's question. "To my knowledge I'm the picture of health. While I'm touched by your concern why do you ask? Do I appear sick?"

"Well no but you haven't tried anything all night… not that I'm complaining! I actually enjoy not having to worry about you. But if I may ask, what's with the sudden change of heart? I can't exactly believe that you just decided to give up on your own." Sango explained.

Miroku stiffened for a moment before answering. "A few carefully chosen phrases."

"What were these 'carefully chosen phrases' and who told them to you?" Sango asked.

"Oh look we're here!" Sure enough they had just arrived at Sango's house. Miroku was holding Sango's door open in a flash. Successfully avoiding the question. They were soon at her front door.

"Well all in all I had a great time tonight Miroku."

Miroku smiled before deciding to take a chance. "So if were to ask you out again you would agree?"

Sango thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Sure I'd be willing to go out with you again."

Miroku smile just got bigger. Quickly he placed a kiss on her check. Then upon hearing a click of what sounded like a safety being taken off a gun was on his way back to the car.

Not hearing the click Sango smiled and waved at him good-bye before heading inside. Closing the door she sighed happily as she made her way into the kitchen she passed through the dining room. She leaned against the doorway and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Dad what are you doing?"

Her father looked up and smiled from his place at the table. "I just realized after you left how dirty my hunting guns were. So I decided to take them out and clean then. Well would you look at the time? I better get to bed."

After he left the room Sango just shrugged and continued her way to the kitchen. Not noticing that the safety had been clicked off one of the guns.

-END-

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**_

_**A/N: For Sango's necklace think the little design on her exterminator uniform except wrapped around her neck.**_


	2. Hormone Hostage

A/N: Due to a burst of inspiration and the kind requests of reviewers I've decided to add on. There will be a few more chapters. This one consists of how Miroku has learned to live with having a girlfriend and the monthly torture that comes with her.

PS: If you liked how the first chapter ended do not read.

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Miroku dug through his pockets and pulled out a five. Handing it to the cashier he waited for her to finish ringing up the chocolate he was buying for Sango. After many dates and warning looks from a certain protective father they had graduated high school. Shortly after that they had bought an apartment and moved in together. Subconsciously the young man crossed his legs and leaned against the counter as her father's words came back to him when Sango told him they were planning to move in together. How far they had come from that first date. The ground rules were still seared into Miroku's mind and his legs still ready to run at the faintest click of a safety.

"You're change, sir."

Miroku snapped out of his not so fond memories to find the young cashier looking at him expectantly. "Huh? Oh right! My change. Thank you."

Handing him his change and small bag she put on a pleasant smile. "Will that be all for you today?"

"Yes." He nodded as he peered into the bag just to make sure the chocolate he had paid for was in fact in there. No way was he going home empty handed. He'd rather keep all his internal organs inside his body thank you very much "Thanks."

"Have a nice day." She said as she started ringing up the groceries of the costumer behind him.

"Yah you too." Miroku replied as he headed out the door and into the parking lot. Once in his truck he began thinking about how much he had changed since high school. He vaguely remembered his skirt chasing days. He smiled fondly as he recalled his famous pick up line. He mumbled to himself under his breath. "Would you bear my children?"

Oh, how could he have forgotten that! It was his signature back before he had met Sango. Ah Sango… that's why. Ever since she had come into his life everything had changed. Looking up at the picture he had of her hanging on his rearview mirror he couldn't stop his happiness from showing. It was worth the possibility of winding up six feet under somewhere in her father's spacious backyard to be living with her.

Stopping at a red light he just happened to glance out the window to find his best friend yelling something that probably wasn't suited for young children with his girlfriend looking equally if not more pissed off. He was quite tempted to just drive off and leave his friend to whatever Kagome had planned for him, knowing Inuyasha he probably deserved some of what was coming to him. But alas he decided to take pity on his poor slightly dense friend and come to his rescue.

As soon as the light turned green, Miroku carefully pulled up to the young couple's newly acquired house. Before stepping out of the truck and making his presence know he sat there and waited for the perfect moment to intervene. Well, that and it was always amusing to watch Kagome and Inuyasha duke it out over whatever silly reason.

"Damn it, Kagome! What'd I do?!" Inuyasha yelled from his position high up in the tree that resided on the side of the house.

She gave him a glare that dropped the temperature around her boyfriend a few degrees. With her hands on her hips in a classic angry woman pose she yelled up at him. "You know darn well what you did! Now come down from up there!"

From his spot a safe distance away from the arguing couple, Miroku watched as his friend made himself comfortable in the tree branch. He didn't look like he was coming down anytime soon. "No. Call me once your crazy mood swings are over and it's safe to be near you."

Ouch. Miroku flinched. Bad move, Inuyasha. Bad move.

Clearly Kagome was not happy with her boyfriend's response. Her hair seem to rise a little in her anger and Miroku could swear he saw a darkening on the sky and a flash of lightening where the young woman was standing. If Inuyasha's frightened expression was any indication it seemed her had seen it too. He shifted uncomfortably under her stare. "Uh, Kagome? You okay?"

Without saying a word she turned around and started marching back to the house.

The fact that she didn't say anything back seemed to freak Inuyasha out more than if she had actually said something. He leaned a little off of his branch. "Kagome? Where are you going? Aren't you going to yell back or something?"

It looked as if Kagome had chosen an alternative way to fight back rather than raising her voice. Picking up the nearby hose she turned the nozzle and started walking back towards a certain boy in a tree.

"You wouldn't dare!" Inuyasha said as he moved up a branch while his girlfriend edged closer. He did not look pleased with what she was planning. "Put down the hose, Kagome. I know you. You don't have it in you to spray me. Now put it down!"

Miroku decided now would be the perfect time to make his entrance. Opening his car door he grabbed the box of chocolates her had bought earlier and made his presence known. "Kagome! It's always an honor to see such beauty."

She looked down at her attire of gray sweatpants, a dark green tank top, and the fact she was barefoot. "Beauty, right. What do you want Miroku?"

"I've come here to deliver a gift." He looked up at the obviously confused man in the tree. "Sorry I'm late, Inuyasha. You would not believe the line at the store and then the traffic here… but I'm here and that's what matters right?"

Inuyasha glared at the man on the ground while keeping a good distance between him and the hose. "What the hell are you talking about? Has Sango knocked a screw loose in that perverted mind of yours?"

"No need to play dumb, Inuyasha." Miroku carefully maneuvered himself so he stood between a curious Kagome and his confused best friend. "Remember? You had me go to the store for you because you didn't want her to suspect anything."

"He did?" Kagome looked at her boyfriend suspiciously.

"Of coarse he did." Miroku interrupted before his friend could open his big mouth. He held out the box of chocolates. "Godivas milk chocolate for the lovely lady courtesy of her thoughtful beau."

Kagome dropped the hose and took the chocolate out of Miroku's hands. She turned so she was facing Inuyasha with a brilliant smile on her face. "That's so thoughtful of you! Why didn't you just tell me?"

"He wanted it to be a surprise." Miroku interrupted. "Why don't you go inside? I do believe Sango said that the 'Titanic' would be playing at one on TNT. If you hurry you might be able to catch it before the opening credits are over."

Kagome gave Miroku a quick thanks and blew Inuyasha a kiss before rushing inside, stopping briefly to turn off the hose.

Inuyasha waited until he heard the door close firmly behind her before daring to climb out of his tree. Once his feet were firmly on the ground he faced his friend. "What the hell was that all about?"

"You're welcome, Inuyasha. Really it was no trouble at all." Miroku said with a sarcastic edge in his tone.

He just chose to ignore him. "She's so impossible to deal with around this time! She's keeps jumping from being all bubbly and happy to wanting to tear my ears off. What am I supposed to do? Go into hiding?"

"What'd you say this time?" Miroku asked.

Inuyasha shrugged. "All I did was ask her if she was planning on sitting around in her pajamas eating potato chips all day."

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Miroku shook his head. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Inuyasha snapped at him.

Miroku dug through his wallet and pulled out a piece of paper. He shoved it into Inuyasha's hand and gave him a pat on the back. "Here. If you hope to make it through this relationship alive you're going to need this more than me. Keep it with you at all times and refer to it constantly."

"What the hell is it?" Inuyasha scanned over the small folded paper.

Miroku climbed into his truck. "It's a safety guide on how to survive those monthly mood swings. Its quite useful and effective so don't throw it away."

"Whatever." He shoved the paper in his pocket and looked up to find Miroku starting up his truck. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"The store." Miroku looked behind him to see if it was safe to pull out. "You must be out of your mind if you think I'm going home without a box of chocolates under my arm. You're girlfriend isn't the only who suffers from mood swings this time of the month, you know."

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_If you wish to see what was on the piece of paper that Miroku gave Inuyasha please visit my profile page._

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	3. Welcome to the Family

A/N: Inspired by a song. Credit goes to Little Big Town's Welcome to the Family.

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Miroku was sweating bullets in his tuxedo. After months of planning and dancing lessons the big day had finally arrived. It was actually a lot easier than he had expected to get Mr. Taijya's blessing in marrying his only daughter. He hadn't been than nervous since their first conversation. In fact the only event that had caused him more fear and anticipation was his proposal.

Boy oh boy was he lucky that Sango had said yes. Even now barley an hour away from walking down the aisle he still didn't understand how he had gotten so lucky. This was going to be the woman that he was going to be spending the rest of his life with. This was the one and only woman who would ever bear his children. For better or worse until death do them part. There was no turning back. No way was he going to mess this up.

And he had his best man, Inuyasha, standing outside the door to make sure he couldn't get away. Just in case.

Speaking of which he could hear somebody opening the door. In walked in Kohaku looking all grown up in his very own tux complete with matching tie. Man had that boy grown since they had first met. Miroku smiled happily and gave him a bug pat him on the shoulder. "Looking sharp. You all ready?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to be the first one to welcome you to the family." Kohaku stuck out his hand.

Miroku had a big grin on his face as he shook it. "Hey thanks, man. That really means a lot to me."

"Also I hope that you two have a good life together and have lots of kids. You'd make a good dad and I know Sango would make a great mother." They stopped shaking and Kohaku stuck his hands in his pockets. Then he continued on as if having an after thought. "Oh, and I have some brotherly advice for you. You know since you're marrying my sister and all."

"All right." Miroku turned. As he was looking in the mirror he fumbled with his tie. "Shoot."

Kohaku took a seat and leaned back so he was staring at the ceiling. It was a rather boring white color. With his hands behind his head he made himself comfortable. "If you know what's good for you you'll treat her right. She had better be happy or you won't be. And if you ever leave her you won't be coming back."

Miroku stopped fiddling with his tie. Surely he had heard him wrong. "Excuse me?"

"I said you don't know what you've gotten yourself into." He stopped staring at the ceiling and looked his soon to be brother-in-law in the eyes. "We're all very protective of Sango. She's my only sister and the only granddaughter so far. So be good to her or else."

Miroku could not believe what he was hearing. Could this really be the same shy little boy that he had first met a few years ago? The one who would turn red if a cute girl talked to him and had been embarrassed when asked to show off some of his soccer moves? Were they really the same person?

Kohaku dug a racket ball out of his pocket and started bouncing it against the wall. "I don't know if you knew this but my grandfather used to quite the powerful judge back in his day. Very well known and liked. Did you know that?"

"I didn't." Miroku didn't know where this conversation was going but he had a bad feeling about it.

"Oh, yeah. In fact he still has plenty of friends still in the business. Judges, lawyers, officers you name it. He has favors he can call in if you even think about doing anything to make Sango sad." The younger Taijya sibling continued while remaining focused on the blue ball. "We also have plenty of family and friends. Big guys that work in the military, police force, fire department, and construction business."

The poor groom could feel the color draining from his face. "Oh, really?"

"Really." Kohaku never took his eyes off the ball and just kept on talking. "You already know that my dad knows how to fire a gun and that he has acres of unused land."

How could he forget?

"On top of that my Uncle Kenji is an undertaker and has access to the crematorium." The freckle faced young man rhythmically thumped the ball against the wall. "I have another uncle that owns a construction sight. Do you know how much concrete they pour daily? Tons of the stuff all over the city. Trust me when I say that your body won't ever be recovered."

Miroku visibly gulped at his blatant statement.

"While I'm at it I suppose that I should warn you about Uncle Sanji. He was kicked in the head while bull riding in America a few years back and he hasn't been the same since. He's a little crazy and Sango has always been a favorite of his." Kohaku added.

Miroku's voice wavered slightly as he spoke. "Now don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit? I mean your family won't really hunt me down, right?"

"Thanks for reminding me. I almost forgot to tell you that my cousin Kyou is a hunter. Lots of experiance. He will hunt you down. I'd tell you to ask some of his younger sister's old boyfriends but they haven't been found." Kohaku said with a completely straight face.

"Your welcome." Miroku let out a little groan.

Kohaku caught the ball and held out his arms so he was facing his soon to be new member of the family. "Oh I like you just fine don't get me wrong. It's just that I love my sister and want what's best for her. You understand right?"

"Of course." Miroku wasn't looking too good.

"Good." Kohaku stood up and fixed the nervous groom's tie. Then he patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't look so gloom. You're getting married. Smile!"

Miroku gave him a shaky smile.

"Now that's more like it." Kohaku gave him one final pat on the back. "Hey I don't know if I already said this but congratulations. I'm glad you're marrying my sister. You make her happy and she really does love you."

Miroku's smile became a little more solid. "Thanks."

"No problem." Kohaku opened the door and just as he was about to walk out a light bulb went on in his head. "Hey Miroku?"

Miroku turned around to see that Kohaku was half way out the door and was looking over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Welcome to the family."

Miroku didn't miss the grin on Kohaku's face before the door had shut behind him. Once he could no longer hear the boy's retreating footsteps he collapsed in a chair. Leaning back until he was staring at the tiled ceiling he thought to himself. 'What on earth am I marrying into?'


End file.
